The BEEhive
Late Post Alert: Beyonce better watch out because Nishay’s BEEhive came to slay!!
Last week culminated the 1st BEEday celebrations. Did I go all out? Absolutely and would do it over again. We had a intimate gathering and had a chance to see some family/friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. While Nishay clearly had no clue that all those people were there to celebrate her, I sure did. People taking time out of their busy schedule to celebrate my daughter meant the world to me! Even those that couldn’t make it- found time to text or call and check in. I was reminded of just how blessed Nishay and I are, with our awesome village. Here are some highlights from her big day
1st BEE day
Well the first birthday is officially in the books. Nishay was in a “it’s my birthday, I can cry if I want to” kind of mood. Of course I was so hyped and she looked at me like girl bye.
Either way, she looked the part with her outfit, courtesy of her donor siblings mom. And celebrated with her daycare family. We took cupcakes and juice for them and then headed to dinner.
Nishay enjoyed all the love poured out to her. I made sure I read every text and social media post to her.
HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY PRETTY GIRL!!! Mommy loves you
Reflections
The other day someone told me I was doing too much for Nishay’s 1st birthday. And initially i questioned myself… But as I thought about it more what I wanted to tell them is, if you knew the story of my journey, you’d be celebrating too!
I literally think back to when it was just a thought and the difficulties I had trying to conceive. The medical issues that flaired, the many hospital trips including my long term stay. Going to my regular monitoring appointment, being walked over to labor and delivery, and immediately induced due to pre-eclampsia symptoms. After 24hrs of labor both my daughter and I going into distress with blood pressure readings being off the charts and no fetal movement detected. To Nishay being born with the umbilical cord around her neck and me being separated from her overnight. To my severe infection that kept us in the hospital longer. A difficult healing process and serious bouts of postpartum depression.
So you see, I’m not just celebrating a 1st birthday-I’m celebrating the good, the bad, and the ugly of this amazing motherhood journey. I’m praising God for my blessings, my dream deferred, his answered prayers, and my miracle baby girl!
Birthday Shenanigans
In true Parson style, you have several birthday celebrations. Nishay’s first birthday celebration was participating in Build-A-Bears birthday club. She got to make a bear for just $1 (to represent her age). Of course we had to dress the bear and buy the accessories so they still made money lol. And then it was off to lunch at Cheesecake Factory. Countdown to 1 is well on its way
Not Prepared
As a new parent, you try to prepare for everything by reading books, joining apps, searching blogs, and googling. But there is one thing no one can ever prepare you for and that’s the MOM GUILT!
The constant worrying about making mistakes, leaving your child, and trying to get everything right. It’s usually unnecessary, unhelpful, and makes an already difficult job much harder.
Mom guilt is so real and takes a major toll on your emotions and confidence. While some level of guilt is normal, beating yourself up over it, only makes things worse. So where does that unrealistic expectation or ideal of a perfect mom come from?
Some of the top causes of mom guilt surround breastfeeding, being a working mom, allowing too much screen time, losing your temper, not spending enough time with your kids, and having to ask for help. As an SMC, that is also compounded by bringing a child into this world without a father. I can say I’ve experienced my fair share of mom guilt related to all of the above. It’s been an ongoing struggle but a few things I try to remember include giving myself grace, challenging those negative thoughts, identifying ways to engage in self care, having supportive people around me, knowing it’s ok to take a break, and most importantly seek professional help if needed. I also allow myself to be present and play with my daughter as much as possible. Her smiles and cuddles help to remind me, I’m doing something right!