Season Changes
Therapist, Counselors, Psychologist, and other experts have studied for years the effects seasonal changes have on the human mind and behavior. And as a Therapist myself, I often explore with clients how mood changes occur during this time of year. It’s colder so you’re getting out less, dark when you leave and return home, attention is sometimes shorter and that November time change really does a number on many of us.
What I didn’t previously consider is how that would effect my toddler and our already chaotic life. I have recently found myself very frustrated with my daughter because it now takes us so much longer to do her morning routine and the evening sometimes seems like more of a chore. She does not want to get up in morning and everything often makes her cry or whine. I have to coach her through taking off pajamas, getting lotioned, putting clothes on and doing her hair. Plus it takes her all morning to drink 1 milk bottle and has to now do everything I’m doing to her, to her baby doll as well. I often lose sight of what are not only normal toddler transitions but even her adjustment to the new season because of course, I’m on a time crunch to get us out the house in time for daycare drop off and work.
But if I take a step back and allow for grace I can then remind myself that this is only a season. And this season will pass just like the run around with the fertility process, the uncomfortable stages of pregnancy, the lack of sleep during infant stages, or any of the million other changes that have happened. And I’m trying to move towards really embracing the changes and taking the moment to look at the positive gains like getting some extra cuddle time from my moody toddler 🤗
All the Fall Things
One thing I can’t ever deny about my childhood, is that my parents exposed us to a little bit of everything. My parents took us out, allowed us to try sports, activities, and everything in between. So naturally I hope to do the same with Nishay and include as much of our village as possible. Here is a glimpse of our fall season
Summer! Summer Time!
Summer has been SUMMERING! We did so much in so little time. See a snapshot of what we have been up to. What’s your favorite summer time tradition?
Chipped Tooth
So yall, we all know I have had “mom fails” probably since the day Nishay was born. But nothing so traumatic as this one…
This past week, my poor baby was trying to run and in her excitement tripped and fell face first; resulting in a chipped tooth, busted lip and bleeding gums. Now I held it together while I was consoling my poor baby, cleaning up blood, and putting ice on her lip. But the way I cried later that night once I was in bed is probably ridiculous in hindsight lol.
But the trauma didn’t stop there because early the next morning, I started making moves to schedule an emergency appointment and have Nishay’s teeth further evaluated. I didn’t go to work anticipating that they would be able to get me an early appointment and afterwards we would go to work/daycare. So let me start by sharing this is a brand new dentist and don’t have initial cleaning appointments until October. And while I understand that we are new patients, emergency situations should trump but instead the foolery I dealt with was crazy. It took about 45min just to get someone on the phone from the new dentist office only for them to tell me that because we are new patients they couldn’t see her for an emergency appointment. When I continued to explain my situation, including why we were coming to them as new patients, the person on the phone went as far to say that there was nothing they could do and her suggestion was to take my daughter to the ER so they can give her some painkillers. I all but cursed that lady out, what painkillers are they giving an 18mon old???
I then attempted to call several other places with no luck on getting an appointment. And yes you guessed it, the tears started rolling down my face and then came the ugly cry. I don’t think Nishay knew what to do, so she started whining too. After getting myself together, I was finally able to reach 1 location that would see us and while they didn’t accept our insurance were willing to let me pay out of pocket for this visit. Thankfully, the dentist said it was the best case scenario and probably aesthetics related. There was no nerve damage, the gums had already started to heal and the tooth wasn’t sharp. She stated that because it was her baby teeth and she would lose them in a few years, it didn’t make sense to put Nishay through any procedure to fix it.
It wasn’t long until my little girl got her bounce back and proved to still be her silly, wild, loving, and independent self! She acts as if nothing happened, however the chipped tooth seems to be a daily reminder to me of what happened and more important how extremely blessed this child is!
Vacation Vibes
Nishays first vacation is in the books! We spent a week in Ocean City with my Godparents, Godsis, cousins, and kids.
I will admit the vacation started off rocky and by the second day I was ready to pack us up and head back home. Nishay has already been going through this clingy phase but it went up 10 notches while away. With all the help and family around, Nishay wanted to only be with me which was quite exhausting. In true Nikita fashion, I internalize that and didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s vacation so I sucked it up instead of asking for help. I’m always getting these lessons and one would think I would learn by now. But shout out to my Godparents and Godsister for getting me through.
After the rocky stages, my girl had an amazing vacation. She ate everything in sight, stayed up late, played with her cousins, was chauffeured around the boardwalk, had her first boat ride on the OC Rocket, shopped at the outlets, had matching outfits with her cousin twin, loved the 4th of July fireworks, and enjoyed beach favorites such as Thrasher fries, Kohr ice cream, and funnel cakes. We will however have to try again on the actual beach because both days we went, Nishay was not having any parts of it.
Get it girl
Yall sis loves to dance. Let any beat drop and she will be the first one moving. And if you really want to get her going, just start hyping her up. Go Shay-Shay! Go Shay-Shay! Here’s one of my favorites, doing her happy dance to the beloved Gracie’s Corner
(we do not own the rights to this song or video)
Such Strong Emotions
Everyone talks about the difficult infant stage and even the terrible two’s. But somehow they skip over them 1 year olds. This is an area that needs more attention brought to it.
At first, things are all rosey. You’re so excited about reaching that 1 year old milestone, getting through some of the roughest days, planning a fun way to celebrate with family and friends, and even happy that their eating more table foods so prep takes less work. But let me tell you, it is a false sense of security LOL.
Because while they are more communicative, you still have no clue what they are saying. And they have what I have deemed as “strong emotions” (but that might be therapist in me). Nishay goes from happiness to intense frustration/anger quickly. She is so fragile that everything makes her cry or fall out, even touching her becomes an issue and the patience threshold is extremely low during her strong emotions episodes. Also, she now has more opinions about everything and makes sure to let you know.
Here’s the thing, the therapist in me wants her to be able to express emotions openly and feel safe. The rational part of me totally recognizes that she has limited skills to communicate with others, has not learned to regulate her emotions and has limited ability to implement coping skills. But that does not stop me from feeling overwhelmed or annoyed by these daily episodes of STRONG EMOTIONS!!
Mother’s Day 2023
Of all the roles I’ve played in my life, this by far is my favorite one!!!!
I have to say, second time around is the charm. I felt more like myself and able to enjoy Mother’s Day. And honestly felt like a mother who was thriving even if the feeling was temporary. As always, I enjoyed being able to spend it with 4 generations and enjoy a weekend of festivities.
Scariest Thing
I am quickly learning, one of the scariest things about motherhood is not whether you can do it, being without a partner, being away from your child, and it’s honestly not even the lack of sleep (or maybe I’ve just adjusted to being always tired)… But the scariest thing is the unexplainable health stuff.
I am no amateur when it comes to health scares because over the course of my life I have had some weird and unexplainable health events happen. But never have I felt so helpless or worried until it happened to my daughter. This past weekend, I observed my daughter struggling to walk and watched her legs give out each time she would attempt to stand. She had a full on meltdown because she wasn’t able to physically do what she was used to do which was follow me around the house.
Naturally I called her pediatricians office and even decided to take her to the ER. But worse than being worried about my daughter, I felt the doctor dismissed my legit concerns. This doctor made me feel as if I was overreacting, which I now recognized caused me to shut down. I wish I would have spoken up more, asked more questions or insisted on running scans and doing x-rays. And while I’m grateful it doesn’t seem to be anything serious and my baby girl is back to getting into everything, things could have been different based on the care we received.
As a social worker I always tell parents, I’m no more an expert than you are, especially when it comes to your child. So we can partner together to bring the knowledge we have and help your child be more successful. I feel like if more doctors took this approach, people would be more comfortable with the healthcare system, feel empowered and not be as intimidated.
Mom Life Be Like…
Mom life had me celebrating my birthday just a little different this year. Now what you should know is that I’m an Aries. And in true Aries fashion I usually celebrate all month. Which typically includes a family event, a girls night out, and everything in between. I have always gone all out for my birthdays (hence why I overdid it for Nishay 😉).
But gone are the days of elaborate parties… This year I spent my birthday taking Nishay to see the Easter Bunny and going to the Bunny BonanZOO!
I did manage to have lunch at R House and brunch at Cheesecake Factory with family and friends. Along with some Easter fun including an egg hunt and Easter cutouts
