Birthing Experience
In my mind, I had my birthing experience all planned out. The most important thing was that my OB be the one to deliver my baby. The minute they sent to Labor and Delivery, I knew I had to shift my mind.
After waking up from the c-section, I also realized how serious things got. Baby girl was born with the umbilical cord wrapped her neck and was not breathing on her own. She ended up in NICU. I couldn’t go see her because of the meds I was on and not being able to leave the bed. That was one of the hardest things ever. They did allow my mom to see her and she got pics but it definitely wasn’t the same. I also felt so disconnected because they talk about how important skin to skin and my baby was missing out on all that. It wasn’t until the next evening that I got to meet my daughter. However it was hard to see her hooked up to all those machines.
After finally feeling better after seeing my baby girl, I get the visit from the NICU doctor the next morning, saying that they are concerned about a bowel obstruction due to her not passing the meconium plug and an inflamed belly. I was told they needed to do contrast enema to see what was wrong. And the next thing I know they are talking about transferring my baby to University of MD for further evaluation and possible surgery. That was difficult to hear and the thought of being away from baby girl caused some anxiety.
She Earned That and More
So before I tell you how my DOULA earned all her money, let me remind you what a doula does. Doulas are professional birth coaches who often provide informational, emotional, physical, and mental support to women during the different phases of pregnancy. You have your prenatal, birth, and postpartum doulas. They can iften be the same person who provides this service or different persons.
Personally I chose a doula as a newly pregnant woman going through a scary process. I was already making a leap of faith by making a decision to become an SMC and although my family was supportive their knowledge of the birthing process was also outdated by a lot. It was even more comforting in the doula I chose because she too is an SMC and could not only help me navigate pregnancy but the world of being a single mother by choice.
Ok now on to why she earned that!!! So as you know I went to the hospital on Monday, well without knowing what was happening, my doula showed up and provided support even through the early hours of labor. I had just been induced, experienceing mild contractions, and honestly concerned about everything because this was not the plan. She knew that and provided much needed supoort, a playlist to distract, and some calming scents. She also provided reassurance that plans change and it would be ok. Although I didn’t progress as fast as doctors hoped my doula stayed through the night in an uncomfortable chair and tight room all the while asking questions, explaining things to me, and continuing to support.
She left the next morning but planned to come back once I became 5-6 centimeters dilated which meant I was in active labor. Upon her return is when things also got interesting for me. The best part of the doula was advocating for mine and the baby’s best interest, asking all the questions I’m too delirious to ask, and again explaining to me what was happening. As the night progressed I felt her desire and push to get the doctors to make some different decisions based on how I was progressing.
Once they made the decision to do emergency c-section, she unfortunately couldn’t come in the room because it was only 1 guest but she stayed until I returned to the room and continued to check on me via text after the birthing experience. So yeah like I said she earned that and more!!!!
Just in Time
Well the baby shower was right on time because that Monday I went to my normal MFM appointment and they sent me straight to labor and delivery. Apparently I had gone into severe range of pre-eclampsia due higher blood pressures and increased levels in urine. They decided to immediately induce.
I labored through Monday night and Tuesday. Upset that now, my OB would most likely not be delivering my baby. My water broke naturally (side note: why do they make it seem like only little drops of water come out when your water breaks. TV spoiled me because I wasn’t prepared to be feeling like I was peeing on myself most of the day. That water came gushing out).
After my water broke ish got real, labor pains increased and became more intense that I opted for the epidural. Things calmed down and I continued to progress, until it didn’t….. Breakthrough contractions came through and several hours later I was still only 7 centimeters dilated. Both baby girl and I went into distress with spiking blood pressures for me and limited movements for her through monitoring. So the team decided on doing an emergency c-section.
Needless to say, I don’t think anything about my birthing plan happened but my baby girl was born Tuesday, March 15 at 10:03pm weighing 7lbs 1oz and 19 inches long
Baby Shower #2
Maryland was calling for bad weather on Saturday March 12 and I was extremely concerned that my baby shower wasn’t even going to happen. Leading up to that day I even became a little depressed and honestly over the whole thing. My mom and support system had to pick my spirits up cause I was truly ready to throw it all away 😢.
We experienced rain, sleet, snow, high winds, and sun all in the matter of a couple hours. But even that couldn’t stop my baby shower from happening!!! My friends were troopers and came to my house. CellaRaye Creations (@cellarayecreations) and Universal Event Planning 1 (@universaleventplanning1) came through with my backdrops, they were amazing! And the virtual party commenced. Shout out to Godmommy Shemea for holding down tech support.
I didn’t get to see everyone face on the shower because of the way we had it set up but felt everyone’s love and support. And all the stressing was for nothing because it turned out just how it was supposed to. Not too many people came to the drive-thru because of the weather but that meant we could do something special for my doctors and the nurses at the hospital with the left over gift bags
Shout out to my Dream Team who helped plan such an amazing event and worked hard behind the scenes. HUGE shout out to my mom, who has literally sacrificed everything she has and made sure my smile shined bright. She’s the real MVP
Baby Moon
With COVID still being real, plans for extravagant baby moon changed. Now if you’re like my mom and are not sure what a baby moon is I will define it for you… BABY MOON: similar to a honeymoon, in that it’s a celebratory vacation. You’re enjoying quality time (alone, with a significant other, or friends) before the birth of a new baby.
But I was still excited about the smaller scale plan my girls came up with. And even that plan changed. Due to being in the hospital and on limited movement I missed the weekend with my girls. It was supposed to start with a nice dinner, then the Monica concert, and end with a sleepover.
Although not the same, they did at least duo me into the concert so I could experience it with them. But I’m definitely holding them to a redo (even if it is after the baby’s born 🤣😂)
Baby Shower #1
Yesterday my job, University of Maryland threw me a surprise baby shower. Was definitely not expecting it and even oblivious when I first logged on to the staff meeting. It was too sweet because they even coordinated with my mom to get me the gifts to open during the shower.
I’ve always been one to keep my work and home life separate but over the years and especially the last 8months, SMHP and NCSMH has shown me so much understanding, love, and support that I have no choice but to consider them part of my village!! And I’m all the more thankful for it!
A Lot Has Happened
A lot has happened is actually an understatement! Where do I start…..
Last Monday we had random snow fall and I managed to slip on the sidewalk, going into my school. I did a split, hit my knee, and bounced back up. I thought nothing of it but about 30 min later I felt sharp pains in my lower abdomen and pelvic area. And soon after it hurt to walk, sit, or move. Immediately, I called the OB office and few hours later I was sent to Labor and Delivery to get checked out. Although I found myself in a lot of pain and discomfort, baby girl was living her best life. Everything checked out with monitoring and ultrasound.
Then last Wednesday is when it really got real. I went for my normal 32 week OB appointment. But found out that I had high levels of protein in my urine and blood pressure was high. My OB decided to also draw blood and put a rush on it. By the time I got to my MFM appointment that afternoon, they told me my liver enzymes were high too. As a result the OB and the MFM sent me to Labor and Delivery due to symptoms of pre-eclampsia. What I thought was just some monitoring ended with a week long stay. Initially when I got there the doctors were talking about keeping me for 2 weeks and delivering baby girl at 34 weeks. According to doctors, the only way to deal with pre-eclampsia is to delver. I even had a consult with peri-natal doctor about what might happen delivering that early. So they needed to continue monitoring my vitals, enzymes, and the baby. Needless to say she again was living her best life, kicking up a storm, and escaping the doctors. After a week stay, the doctors reported that my levels were trending down and I could be monitored outpatient. The caveat was I would continue to be monitored with 3x per week appointments and we will induce at 37 weeks.
When i first got to the hospital I was sad, confused, hurt, and feeling like a failure. What did I do to make this happen? And feeling insecure about not being able to keep my baby safe. I ended up crying myself to sleep the first 2 nights. I had to seriously pull on my faith at that point and realize that God has been with me this entire pregnancy and was going to be there now. I was also grateful for my family that checked on me, sent encouraging words, and reminded me I was loved. I am glad to be home from the hospital.
3 WEEK COUNT DOWN!!!!
Getting ready
LATE POST: Couple weeks ago I participated in childbirth classes, hospital tour, and infant care class. According to my mom, these classes have changed some over the years LOL. But basically this was my opportunity to practice breathing techniques, learn all about delivery options, medications, complications, and ultimately help to develop my birthing plan. It was a long virtual class but was helpful in giving important information. I was grateful to take the childbirth class with my mom who will be my support person in the delivery room. Unfortunately the hospital tour was also virtual, so we only got to see pictures of the rooms and spaces where I’ll be.
The infant care class was probably the hardest to sit through because I knew a lot of that information form my experiences working with kids over the years but there was still some valuable information to gather.
I have also officially chosen my child’s pediatrician office. I looked up several offices and consulted with other SMC in the area. I was ultimately looking for a person of color who had variety of office availabilities. There were rave reviews for Dr. Brown at Dr. Klebanow & Associates https://www.klebanowandassociates.com/ . And best of all, the practice has several persons of color to choose from in the event I can’t see Dr. Brown. **Special fact: this is the office that I was also seen at as a child, only by a different doctor**
Its the Village for me
I have to say when I started this journey, I expected there would be times that I would feel lonely or miss not having a partner. And there have definitely been those moments where I felt that.
An Africans proverb that I love is “its takes a village to raise a child.” It shows that when communities are at its best, its a village. A close knit unit that helps, supports, gives feedback, provides structure, brings guidance, and love to all. The African American community has lived off this for so many years. And honestly I grew up this way as well. I have to say that, my village is awesome and has been essential throughout this journey!!!
Let me start from the beginning…. Earlier this week, I found myself in so much pain dealing with what the doctors have determined is sciatica (really sharp pain going from my lower back, down my butt and into my leg). It seems that either baby girl is constantly sitting on that nerve or has irritated it so much its pinched. And when I say pain, I mean pain. I’m talking sliding up/down the wall to get up/downstairs, crawling across the floor to get to the shower, and literally tears rolling down my face with every movement. It got so bad I couldn’t get out of bed Tuesday morning. My doctor had already referred me to Physical Therapy at my last appointment. So their suggestion was take Tylenol, use heating pad, icy hot, restrict activities and be on bed rest until the psychical therapy appointment. Imagine my frustration because that meant I couldn’t go to work and had to figure out how to take care of myself for the next 3 days.
Now enter where my village stepped up. Family and friends calling to check on me to see if I needed anything, offering to go to the store to pick up essentials, and even sending me money to pay for my door dash meal (because I mean who can stand on their feet to cook anything). I also tapped into my online village of other SMC’s who gave great guidance on stretches to try, tricks that helped them with the same issue, and even just offering their love and support. The major part of my village that I am truly thankful for is my mother. Who made the sacrifice to stay with me for a couple days to help around the house and make sure I got fed. I can’t thank her enough because being able to sit brought some relief, even if it was short lived. My village is honestly, one of the main reasons that I knew I wouldn’t be completely alone in this process even if it sometimes felt that way.