TWW….
This TWW or Two Week Wait period is hard. I have tried to keep my mind occupied on other things in an effort to not think about it. And unfortunately, this timeframe came during the week that I was off from work. I realize that I did not plan this very well. So I have found it incredibly hard, especially when you are conflicted with so many emotions and acting as if you’re pregnant. I find that everything I do I am consumed with the thoughts of being pregnant, often searching thousands of thing on Google related to this timeframe and/or being pregnant. Questions like: what position should I sleep in, what foods are good or which ones can I not eat, limiting heavy lifting, wondering if I can have caffeine, what should my exercise look like, and is this cramping normal.
I have fought off the urge to take a pregnancy test and didn’t initially buy any for this reason. In my mind I have told myself, as long as I don’t know the results, I can act as if I am pregnant and be excited about the possibility alone. But the minute I test and see the negative result, that will become my reality. And I don’t know if my emotions, my mind, my heart, or my feelings can handle it…
To add to my complications of the TWW, I will have to entertain choosing another donor due to motility results from the 2 vials I previously purchased. The motility for the 2 vials didn’t even add up to the guarantee rates of one vial and the fertility doctor believes it is a donor issue. So although I want to act as if this IUI worked, I have to also be realistic that if it didn’t work, I need to complete the process necessary to genetically review and purchase a new sperm donor for a July cycle. There is way too much to this process that I never even considered I would be addressing!
Mommy To Be