Its Been A Minute
So much has happened in the last 2 months and it dawned on me I haven’t documented any of it 😫. But if I’m being honest, it’s also because these have been a rough couple months. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in LOVE with my sweet baby girl and have no regrets. But this is also probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done!!! Yes even harder than those degrees, buying a house, starting my business, and being a therapist. To give a recap:
- I have always separated work from personal life but this experience has truly shown me that my UMB colleagues can also be part of my village. They not only did the shower and gifts but when they found out about the difficulties Nishay and I were having they sent monetary gifts to help pay for parking, meals, and other expenses. I also has a visit in the hospital from our Division Director, Dr. Edwards who also came bearing gifts. I was extremely overwhelmed with their generosity
- After we were both released from the hospital (she ended up not needing surgery and was thriving well in the NICU), my medical challenges made it extremely hard to care for her. I was constantly tired, in pain, and unsure of myself. Ended up in hospital again overnight due to medication issues and complications of migraine.
- We stayed with my mom for the first month and that was extremely helpful. I felt bad daily for putting her out her room, feeling sick, relying on her. But she was a trooper and made sure I knew often that I was doing a good job. She’s honestly the real MVP of this whole journey
- Emotions- whew chile my emotions have been all over the place. Definitely dealt with some postpartum depression while managing the mom guilt of wondering if I’m doing things right, feeling inadequate, and crying often in frustration. I can grow in this area for sure and give myself much more grace than I have been
- When we finally came home it was an adjustment. You see my mom lives in a condo and everything is on 1 level. I have 3 floors, with both my bathrooms being upstairs 🤦🏾♀️. Luckily my mom helped us get settled here too. My biggest fear was taking Nishay up and down the stairs. I’ve created some great systems to help us with that. I have my bag I bring with me to carry little things like my water, her meds, bottles, etc. I also made an investment to buy a second boppy because I mean really, who is remembering to bring that up/downstairs. I have enough to worry about. Also have the pack and play set up on the first floor so she has a secure place to sleep in addition to the bassinet in my room.
- Doctor Appointments- she had her first doc appointment the very next day after discharge, a week after that, 1 month, and 2 month. She was s little slow to gain weight but is now moving fast. First app she was 6lbs, second app she was 6lbs 6oz, third app she was 7lbs 10oz, and she is now 9lb 14oz
- The breastfeeding journey has been interesting but we are making it. She latches like a pro and obviously according to weight eats often lol. The difficult part is finding s comfortable position and gauging whether she is still hungry or just using me as a giant pacifier. I will begin pumping again to build up my supply in anticipation of returning to work
- Sleep- I thought I was tired before but naw I totally understand the meaning of exhaustion now. Caring for me, caring for her, and trying to get other tasks done somewhere between the two is literally a full-time job!
- Road Trip- Nishay has already had her first road trip. We traveled to NC to see my cousin graduate with her doctorate in pharmaceuticals. I didn’t realize how much stuff you need when traveling with a baby. You have to anticipate everything and pack literally their whole life. But it was definitely worth it
Mommy To Be